Entry #42

Another week has gone by but I’ve started to draw more again. Jocke reminds me now and then to take breaks so I don’t mess up my wrist again. Not that it’s healed. The two weeks’ intense resting period doesn’t seem to have done anything at all except make the muscles in my wrist dissolve into nothingness (which I knew would happen). It has made me pretty frustrated with feeling a slight pain now and then during the day from my wrist but what can you do. I’m going to call my physiotherapist to see what the next step could be in hopefully making my hand better again. I am fully aware that I’m never going to be able to sit for hours on end and draw like I did when I was younger but I’m ok with that as long as it stops hurting. It’s not as bad as before I met the physiotherapist. Back then I couldn’t even lift anything with that hand without feeling intense pain and now I, at least, don’t have that. Which is great! Now, if we could just go a bit further and not have pain at all that would be great!

I tried streaming yesterday. I really really want to be able to stream me drawing but my issue is that I can never focus on one thing at a time. My drawing process is me drawing for a few minutes, then looking at something, drawing a bit more for a few minutes, maybe start a new youtube video, drawing for a few minutes… and so on and so forth. I can never just focus on one thing, never really been able to. The only times I am close to having full focus on drawing is when I have something on in the background, like a movie that I like or a stream that’s entertaining. But even then I draw for a bit, lose focus, draw for a bit and lose focus again. So it’s really hard for me to stream or even record me drawing for a video. I really want to do process videos of me drawing and upload to my channel but I can never just sit down and draw. And if I were to record I would have to pause the recording every few minutes and then start it again, which I, of course, forget after a while and then I’ve lost footage because I’ve drawn something while the camera wasn’t on. It’s a really weird problem that I haven’t figured out a solution to yet. I also thought about taking pictures instead of filming and make some sort of “stop-motion” video but then I’d have to stop drawing, start the camera, take a photo, put away the camera and then start drawing again. That would be the best bet but then I’d have to remember not to draw too much which means that if I’m on a roll and going with the flow, I’d have to break that flow to take a picture…. *sigh*. I still think pictures are the best bet, just have to figure out a good way of doing it.

Also, lightning. The light in here is just yellow!

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