Entry #43

I don’t know why but I always feel kinda sad when I sit down to write here. It’s nothing huge such as me going from extremely happy to depressed when I sit to write but mostly that I feel a sense of sadness somehow. Even if what I’m about to write is about happy things I always tend to feel sad when I start writing. I don’t know why.

Anyway. This week has been really calm. We haven’t had any schoolwork to do since we technically had our “winter break” this past week (funny how that works), so I’ve just been home and relaxing. Spending my time between sleeping, drawing and playing Final Fantasy. I was really proud of myself for finishing a piece that I started about a week ago. I usually don’t work that fast but I was really liking how the piece was turning out. I also ordered lots of paper from Berlin so now I don’t have to worry about running out of A5 paper to draw on. At the same time, I ordered some A6 paper as well because I wanted to try doing some silly things with the smaller sized paper. I still have loads of paper that I bought years ago that I want to use because I don’t like them just sitting in a drawer. It’s just that they’re not the paper I like to use nowadays so I need to figure out what to do with them.

Tomorrow I’m going to start the five-week internship we have through university. I’m going to be stationed at a school with 1st graders. I’ve met them before because it was there I had my first lesson back in December. They were really nice kids so I hope it won’t be me hating being there for five weeks. I hardly think so but you never know what’ll happen. It’s going to feel weird though having to “try” being a teacher for the first time. I know I’m not going in alone but it feels weird for some reason. I’m used to talking and helping grown-ups, not children, especially not with learning how to read and write. But everything is a new experience and how else would you grow. Right? I’m going to have to take my medication tonight so I’ll be able to sleep, hopefully before midnight. I would at least like to have my first day there be without me yawning every 3 minutes. It would be nice and I think it would leave a better impression with the staff. I’m all about that good first impression! I bet the kids will have a lot of fun asking me why my hair is green.

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