Entry #47

My depression has been acting up again and I’ve been incredibly down lately. Not fully depressed but I recognize the signs that it’s going that way. I still haven’t heard back from my psychologist or the department that I contacted in case I could get a new one assigned to me. It makes me feel pretty mad and extremely sad at the same time. Nothing I can do about it though if they don’t want to answer my messages or calls. I’m going to try out an online psychologist program that’s actually approved by the Swedish hospitals so I have the same rates and such as I would get if I would go see a doctor. Which is really nice because that means that once I get the free period I can actually use that with this program. The only issue is that I actually have to pick which psychologist I wish to talk to and I don’t know. How will I choose?!

Anyhow. The intern thing at the school is still going on. I have one more week after this one and it actually feels nice that it’s going to be over soon. I don’t like being an intern like this where I can’t do anything myself. Just follow around and look at things. I want to be active and actually do things, not just wait around like some spare wheel in hopes of being used… that sounded wrong but it gets my point across. Tomorrow though, I going to have my first and only class that I’m going to lead myself. Or, at least hopefully lead by myself. I’m going to start teaching some of the kids what a sentence is and how it might look. Capital first letter and punctuation at the end sort of thing. Nothing big or fancy since they are only 7 years old, but still. Better than just sitting at the side and waiting around, thinking you could do more valuable things at home than standing around there acting like you’re happy about it. Anyway, after that, at around 13:00, I’m going to meet up with a lady that I met on the bus last year. Yes, that sounds weird but I call it my work damage. Basically, I’ve worked in sales so long that I tend to talk and act like I would while working when I’m not working. So I’m hyper friendly to anyone and talk a lot. Which usually ends up with me having silly conversations with people I’ve never met before at weird places. Busses, piers, so on. It was a really long bus ride so we had a lot of time to chat. Seems I stuck with her so she added me on Facebook and we chat now and then. I remember that she spoke about the fact that she wanted to start her own company and I told her that of course, she should if she feels she has a great idea. She contacted me in December asking if we could meet up for a coffee because she really wanted to speak to me about something that could possibly not only change her life but mine as well. I’m skeptical but I’m all ears.

After that I’m going to be heading to the hospital and get my blood checked. Last time I donated blood they saw that I was anemic and I had to take iron pills to get my iron deposits up again and tomorrow they want to see if it’s normal now. I hope so because I don’t like taking those pills. They make my stomach weird.

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