Entry #48

I’ve realized that I really need to talk to a doctor about my sleeping issues. There must be something wrong because the amount that I feel I need to sleep just isn’t normal. It’s just so weird that I can sleep whenever and even if I’ve been up for a few hours, I can still just go back to bed because I’m just that tired constantly. I hate it when I try and explain this to people and everyone kinda roll their eyes at me or tell me that they’re also tired. Well, yes. I don’t think your lying but it’s not that I just feel tired and would like to go home and get some rest. I truly just want to sleep. With these weeks where I’ve been at the school, it feels like all the energy that I have goes to just being awake and as soon as I get home and have the chance to relax, my brain just wants me to sleep. I find that so sad because I hardly have the energy to play a few dungeons in FFXIV or draw. So I just draw a bit before dinner and then go to bed because that’s all I can muster up the energy for. That and Jocke really wants me to eat dinner. I find it really nice that he still tries to make sure that I get food in me. It’s good because I have a tendency to either forget or not bother with food. I can’t wait for the school thing to end after this week. I want to let my brain rest a bit and also spend some time drawing some more.

Jocke and I decorated and cleaned a bit during the weekend. We added some curtains in the bedroom so now it’s really dark and cozy in there. We also cleaned the living room and fixed the cozy corner. I added all my fox plushies and my fox pillow on one of the beanbags and it looks really cute! One of the very few things that I do that I find cute. Oh, and I also coloured my hair black/blue but left my bangs green. I really liked the green but it was a hassle to maintain. Just maintaining the bangs and having the rest black is just so much easier. Plus, the green colour stained fabric so I kept being anxious about colouring clothing or the bedsheets. I don’t sleep much on my face so there’s not as big of a chance for me to stain fabric with my bangs! At least that’s what I hope.

I can’t say that I truly enjoy being a teacher. At least not so far. Then again. I’ve just had some small experience for nearly five weeks. Still, it does feel better than sales, which is always a positive thing for sure. I don’t get the same crushing feeling when I’m going to bed or when I wake up in the morning to go to work, and that’s always a very good thing. I won’t deny that! Anything is better than feeling that your soul is being crushed on a daily basis from doing something that you hate. You can only do that for so long before your mind goes bleh to life and everything with it. At least, that’s what it did to me.

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