Entry #54

Yesterday I was browsing through youtube, looking for something to watch while I played Final Fantasy XIV. I came across this video where a lady showed off some new watercolour paints she acquired from what seems like a family run business in Canada. It’s always relaxing to watch these videos now and then but after a while, she swatched a dark blue greyish colour with gold flakes in it. It was such a beautiful colour that I just had to get it myself. I rushed over to the site, thinking that they probably don’t even ship to Sweden but they did! I ended up buying one of those Mayan Indigo Gold as it was called. I wanted to buy more but it felt silly to buy a lot when I don’t really paint that much. I should paint more, but the colours scare me if I’m really honest. I did end up trying to paint something earlier today. It didn’t end up perfect but it was a fun little experiment. I just tried to see how I could get some effects and also I got a chance to try two of my new paintbrushes. They’re really really nice compared to the cheap ones I have. Normally I’m not really the kind of person that goes by price. I like to research the items I buy to see if they’re worth the price they’re asking for. The paintbrushes I got were the most expensive I’ve ever bought (which isn’t really saying much since I haven’t bought many brushes) but they’re really really wonderful! I’m really glad I bought them. I’m really looking forward to getting that paint! I have no idea what to paint with it but I have a few days to figure it out if I get it by the date I hope.

I have a lot of schoolwork to get done as well. I’m really not looking forward to it. The majority of it is group assignments and I really don’t like group assignments. I like working on my own because then I don’t have to worry about talking to people and agreeing about things. It’s just me and the shit I need to do. Now, there’s a whole new set of steps. Me, shit I need to do and a group of people that need to agree on things to get it done. I’m only a people pleaser because ever since I was young that is how I got positive feedback. It’s not until I got my depression that I realized it’s not really a good thing and I’m trying to back away from being a people pleaser. I think I’m doing a good job though. Thinking more about myself and less about what other people are thinking about me. It helps living outside of the city, that’s one thing I’ve learned. It’s much easier when there is less people around you. Who would’ve thought! Right?

Anyway. I’ve been trying really hard to stay with the schedule that I made earlier. So far I’ve been doing good. I’ve exercised almost every day (I missed one day where I came home so late that I just went to bed) and I’ve drawn every day. I’ve even been able to wake up and get out of bed at around 10am. That part has probably been the hardest for me to keep up with, but I’m doing my best. I also forgot that it’s thursdays I’ve decided to update my blog but eh. At least I remembered to update it, even if it was a day before schedule! I’m alright with that.

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