Entry #63

It’s been a weird week for me. As I spoke of before, schoolwork put us into groups and just my luck I get put into a group of people that, for some reason, doesn’t want to communicate with everyone or even compromise. Sure, I get pretty angry when people just don’t want to compromise because of stupid reasons, but when you’re in a group and just one day tell us that two of you started two assignments without discussing anything with the rest of us and now tell the rest that we can finish it. What if we don’t like what you’ve done so far? What if the rest of us wanted to be a part of the assignment from the beginning? Nope. Look. I can understand that people want the weekends for weekend stuff but I just get so mad when they just flat out refuse to work on weekends because they don’t want to. I’m not sure they realize what sort of work they’re studying for. Every teacher I’ve spoken with has stated that working over weekends is a normal thing that happens more often than not. Do they just figure they can just refuse? Well, sure they can but it’s their job that will just get worse and much more hectic. All in all, I asked our teacher if I could switch to another group. Well, first I asked if I could do the assignments on my own, but he wasn’t really into that idea. So instead I was able to switch groups. Which so far has been a good thing.

Not that I let myself. I find crying scary.

Last week I ordered a few containers for the ink for my dip pen. The package arrived before the weekend so I got to spend some time trying out the dip pen again. I am really liking it, now that I’ve gotten it to work. I haven’t been drawing much this last week though. Well, I have but I haven’t started a new illustration. I’ve just been sketching instead. I don’t know why because I have a few sketches that I’m planning to make into finished illustrations, but I just haven’t gotten around to start yet. For some reason, I’ve just been tired mentally. I’ve tried keeping up with updating social media and such, but I’ve just been very sad this week. It’s almost like I’ve been wanting to cry every night for the past week. Not that I let myself. I find crying scary. It feels as if I won’t be able to stop if I start and that feeling is so incredibly strong that I just don’t want to cry, and that then takes a toll on my sleeping schedule (HA! Like I had one!) since I’m so sad when I go to bed that I’m not able to fall asleep. Fun stuff! Being depressed and anxious makes for great nighttime activities! Not really, but you might get my point. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep until early in the morning that I don’t remember shutting off the alarm. It might not have helped that I woke up sometime between then because Kami started throwing up downstairs. At least I didn’t fall out of bed like I did when Reika threw up. Jocke still finds it funny that I now have a permanent mark on my elbow from falling out of the bed. I don’t see the fun in it but I find it funny that he thinks it’s funny. Funny how that works!

The moving day is also coming in closer and closer. We’re hoping to get into our new apartment on friday next week, but we’re not sure when we’re going to be able to get the keys. Jocke has already taken the friday off from work so we can focus on trying to move everything out of the old apartment to the new one. It’s going to be hectic, that’s for sure. The week after that I don’t really have the time to do it because I have so many assignments that have their turn in date that week. At least it doens’t seem like I have to travel to Sundsvall as I thought, which is a nice change. I really don’t want to have to spend the weekend moving and then wake up at 4:30 because I have to take a buss in Ljusdal at 6:25 to be able to get to Sundsvall before 10:15. Looking at my schedule, it seems that the whole week is over Zoom. I don’t mind, I’m just wondering where I’m going to sit because we’re planning on throwing these tables while moving and building a new one. Oh well, issues for future us I suppose!

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