Entry #89

Was a while since I did anything with this website. It’s not that I’d forgotten but it was in the works of getting shut down so I didn’t really plan on adding anything new since there really was no need to. Things have been fixed and it’s still going for at least another year. I’ve updated the portfolio part with some illustrations I’ve made since I last made an entry. Still not all of them but it’s getting there.

Healthwise it’s been a real mess. I had to quit UNI because of my sleep issues. Turns out I can’t even work as a teacher because of the issues I have with sleep so that was 3 years that really didn’t go anywhere. I did get experience and I do love trying things out and learning stuff, but it still feels like a bit of a waste of time to be honest. I’ve done lots of tests to see if they can figure out what’s wrong with me but since I’m also diagnosed with depression (and being sleepy and tired is quite common with depression), most of the healthcare workers I’ve met has instantly said that my issues with sleep is because of my depression. Which is wrong. Every shrink I’ve seen has agreed with me on that part because if that is true, then I would’ve been depressed since childhood and I don’t have a single memory of ever feeling as shitty and down as I did back in 2015. So getting some kind of diagnosis has been extremely slow. I’m going to meet with a doctor next week to talk about the possibility of me having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. A lot of tests has to have been done before even getting to that stage and I’ve done a lot so I’m hopeful to at least get referred to the clinic in Stockholm that works with it. It all really depends on what the doctor says next week and I’m not hopeful. Last time I saw him he told me straight up that there was nothing more they could do for me and pretty much asked me what I want. I did have a meeting today with a bunch of people that can somewhat help decide how my future will be and they’ll send a message to the doctor I’m going to meet on what we talked about. It’s all a big mess to be honest but I’m not someone who doesn’t at least give it a try, even if I’m extremely skeptical.

Anyway, since quitting UNI I’ve become an apprentice at a tattoo studio. I’ve only done it for little over a year and it’s been really fun. Just wish I lived in a place that had more people because I don’t really have people to practice on except my partner. He’s all in for getting inked but I would like my clientele to be more than just him. I’m still working on my art and trying to get my illustration business to start but it’s been slow. Not that it was quick before but still, would’ve been nice to feel like I’m getting somewhere with it.

Right now I’m pretty much just trying to get healthier. Trying to go out for walks and eating more regularly. Food has been really hard for me since my depression and I keep forgetting to eat. It’s all just a work in progress I guess.. then again, aren’t everything.

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